do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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