Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
