Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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