I heard we made out
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
