Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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