we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
