Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
