Soap is not a condiment
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
