hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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