im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
