me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
