I wish I only lived at night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
