So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
