i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
