you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
