look no pants
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
