My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
