We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
