there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
