so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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