OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My penis needs a shock collar
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
