I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
