So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
