I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
