This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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