when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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