K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
