I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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