He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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