At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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