I hate your face
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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