Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
