My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He has the fingertips of a God
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