when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
