i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
