More tranny stories later!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
