Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its not stalking. its research.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
