are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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