Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
