You're so nebulous sometimes
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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