dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
