I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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