So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think my mom watched the whole time
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
