i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
