I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
PANTIES FOUND
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