This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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