i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
