It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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