Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
