it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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