they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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