well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
