What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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