you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
