Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
