I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
