i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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