me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
