Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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