JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
