Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
