I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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