He kissed a someone with a penis
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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