so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
