You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
