It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
