forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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