Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
