that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
