It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
