Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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