im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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