I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
