VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
