I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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