don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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