I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize