How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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