You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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